Criss Angel is an asshole

31 10 2007

So was watching this show “Phenomenon” on NBC (Wednesdays 8-9 pm) about illusionists and mentalists which are all fancy words for magicians but they’d like to disagree. The performers do shows and 2 judges, the famed mentalist Uri Geller and the ummm famed-illusionist Criss Angel, make their verdicts while the rest of the US make phone calls to vote their favorite acts. Anyway, so this time, it was a LIVE Halloween event and they had 6 noobies on the row this time and they all had a limited allotted time slot to complete their magic stunts.

One dude (Jim) put on a highly dramatic performance. Maybe a bit overly dramatic to most people’s taste and it got to Criss Angel. So Jim was shaking and trembling all over the stage during his act reminiscent of Edward Norton’s motions while trying to conjure up the spirit of Jessica Biel in the movie “The Illusionist.” It was ok on the movie but in real life, it’s kinda a bit too much isn’t it? Yea and while both judges (Uri and Criss) thought so, Criss was a bit less diplomatic and put something in an envelope taunting Jim to reveal the content of the envelope. His profanity laden words didn’t help his image any better and the two almost came to fist fights.

My words to you Criss Angel. You are a good “illusionist” but don’t get too high up there. Not good for your personal publicity. You might have some personal issues but don’t bring it on tv especially if it’s LIVE. What you could have told Jim would be something along the lines of “you got a bit too dramatic for my tastes…” and that would have been the end of it. Made yourself look foolish. Good thing people learn and I’m sure you do.

If you feel sorry for Jim and want to put out a sympathy vote, call 1-866-34567-05. The “05” at the end is his tag #. I’m just happy being apathetic. Hehe and Happy Halloween!!!

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Some strange/funny news from around

29 10 2007

Oct 14: Anti-Gay rights Republican Idaho Senator, Larry “I am not gay” Craig, fresh out of his gay-sex scandal in the Minneapolis Airport (MSP) mens restroom got honored in Idaho. I’m assuming they’re now planning on making changes to the name of the state by adding a “mo” at the end of “Idaho” as in which case would resonate well with the Republican-stronghold’s leading political hypocrite. How can you be tell the world that you were looking for gay sex in court in front of the world and then a week later tell them all that you were never gay?

Oct 17: Some fat nerd/geek behind a computer screams out Ron Paul and a million nerds scream out the same name. Then they go around telling other fat easily gullible fools that Ron Paul is the answer to our nations problems as though we need another 4 years under Republican rule. These clowns must’ve read this story and believed every word of it. ROFL!

Oct 19: The “best broadband service” Comcast, one of the tier 1 Internet Service Providers here blocked test attempts made by the Associated Press to download the Bible through the popular p2p (peer to peer) file sharing technology, BitTorrent. First they denied any hand in the slowdown of torrent file sharing over the internet. Then a week later, they admitted to it. Later when talks about Comcast getting sued were on the air, Comcast denied blocking p2p torrent exchanging. Later, Congressman Rick Boucher slaps Comcasts wrists with a warning. Insiders reveal that Comcast uses Sandvine to do their dirty work. Comcast denies. Proof of Sandvine’s involvement in the issue comes out on their own website. Comcast still in denial to the public. Comcast’s profits drop 54%. I say karma is doing a wonderful job here.

Oct 23: Report uncovers that the 67 year old meat company, Topps Meat Co, reduced meat inspection levels and mixed foreign and domestic meat to meet (no pun intended) an unexpectedly high demand from Sam’s Club or Wal-Mart customers not too long before customers got sick eating that shit. The discovery of the E.Coli virus which is found in matters pertaining to the fecal kind, left the company with massive lawsuits and an instant collapse amidst a 22 million pound frozen beef patty recall. It is believed that contaminated meat is still being sold at Wal-Marts and Sam’s Clubs around the nation. I knew food at Sam’s Club and Wal-Marts were shit but didn’t quite think of it in literal terms. I guess that makes a lot of people shit-eaters. *pukes*

Oct 23: Gap finds out child-labor was used in India to make their products. I mean how long does it take to figure that out? The trim quality of Gap has suffered immeasurably in recent years. You can see poorly cut clothes and shitty stitchings on almost any Gap product. Clearly, this is the work of children, not machines or professionals. For the price of your clothes, you have to hire either one of the last 2 suggestions.

Oct 24: Arsonists suspected in the Southern California fires. Who the fck are these people and why the hell are they burning up houses and property? As if insurance rates and pollution levels weren’t quite high enough out in Cali, some clowns decided to take on the task of increasing our renter’s insurance (property insurance) and global warming. We’re assuming these people whoever they may be are not planning on living in Cali for long due to the possibility that either the ocean might reclaim the land, pollution and smog kills the living, or Gah-buh-nuh Arnie pumps more iron than green into the economy.

Oct 28: Hollywood revenues declined for the 6th straight week. Not surprising with a declining middle-income class, faltering dollar strength, and the rich preferring to pour their money into the volatile stock market as the right-wing party wants us to believe. In reality, rich people prefer investing in stocks that can return a profit as in Asian stocks out in Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Tokyo. Time to get all the rich people to go out and watch all the movies you pour out, Hollywood!

Oct 28: Philip Morris, the giant cigarette/tobacco company off loaded $350 million and opened a new research center for “products to reduce the risk of tobacco use.” WTF did I just hear? That’s like saying Hollywood will invest millions of dollars to produce movies that make people not want to watch it on their television sets. Oh wait. That’s already in the process. So is Philip Morris actually speaking the truth? “Thank You for Smoking” is a good movie about these bastards although I did want to strangle the smart-ass kid of the main character.





Scare yourself silly at Molitor’s Haunted Acres

29 10 2007

If you’re ever in the central Minnesota region around Halloween, Molitor’s Haunted Acres is a place you could definitely try checking out. Located in Sauk Rapids which is like 5 minutes north of St Cloud (on Highway 10) and comes with a low low admission ticket price of $11.75 per head. Last Saturday, went out with a few friends to Molitor’s (“pronounced: mall-eaters”) and ended up completely missing the dumb exit which happened to be County Road 29 to Sartell. Gosh I’d driven a good 25 minutes up north before realizing my mistake. Everybody groaned in the back seats but it was ok hehe. Finally reached the place and the bumpy farm land parking lots were full to the brim.

Upon entering the place, I was super disoriented with all the lit-up decorations in place that I had trouble finding the ticket counter and almost stood in the bathroom line. How embarrassing! So we all paid for our tickets and stood in this long amusement park-like snaky line teaming with little kids possibly high schoolers or even younger. But before that, there was this dude dressed up in a gorilla outfit who jumped out at the girls in front of us right after they bought the tickets. Someone coulda died there cuz nobody was expecting it but it was still funny. A good 15 mins of waiting in line flew by watching the next group of kids getting scared every time they walked past the counter. Next thing we know, we’re ushered out the door into the back of the shelter area and onto a tractor (Hay ride) with a long flat bed and 2 rows of benches with the backs facing one another. The air was chilly [… here take my sweater… 😉 ], it was dark outside at 10pm, an instruction spiel about how we were not allowed to touch the “monsters” even if they could touch you was spelled out loud and clear, and off we went on this tractor with around two dozen teenagers and a few older couples.

As the 2-stroke high torqued engine of the tractor racketeered us onwards, the pale light of the cold (almost) full moon flitted through the tall corn fields and the bony dead looking trees cast eerie shadows. All of us were trying to laugh and talk trying to hide our fears while at the same time, straining our eyes into the darkness trying to spot “monsters” before they popped out in front of our faces. I saw a shadowy figure holding out a thumbs up sign just as we neared a giant fort with some ghoulish name on it. I must admit, the whole thing was looking pretty darn impressive compared to what I imagined it would be. BANG! The whole crowd jumped. Nothing. GROWL! All of a sudden, this hideous masked person jumps on board snarling at all of us especially the ladies who shrieked the entire way. They had smaller stalls with murderous looking butchers chopping up fake humans and then running out of their stalls and onto the tractor. Just for the record, Kaci was victimized by every single “monster.” Giant rats popping out, a giant T-Rex read that popped out of this house towards us actually scared me. I mean I saw the head popping out and then all of a sudden it’s heading straight for me but jus then, it stops and goes back. *Phew* So all in all, the tractor took us through a quite a few of those forts where they had different themes for different monsters and it was very professionally done. My only complaint about the ride was that the 2 sides did not witness what was on the other side with the exception of the two leatherface dudes (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) who had loud vibrating fake chainsaws and attempted to chop off people, one sawed off my legs. It was kinda freaky cuz they initially tried to avoid cutting us so we got the impression that mebbe those saws were the real deal. Then they tried cutting the benches and then on the audience. Just as the ride was nearing it’s conclusion, we saw that the folks facing the other way (left) could see a stone well and out of it crawled a jet black scraggly haired skinny pale girl representing the famous Hollywood horror blockbuster, the Ring (originally “Ring-O” from Japan).

Next up, we waited in line outside as a masked monster guarded a door to the “Mine shaft of Misery.” Close by to us, there were three dark witch-like robed figures standing and huddling in a corner whispering by the trees. Freaky. So we get into the mine shaft and gawd it was scary. Lots of monsters scaring and following people around through the almost ink dark corridors. There was so much going on in there but I can’t recollect much other than that it got me pretty good. There was another tunnel thing like the mine shaft and it was equally as scary (I admit).

So then, we had to stand out waiting in line to enter a “haunted house” with a vulturish looking monster. Kaci and I got lost in the house and got in a hilarious moment with a disembodied kid missing his lower half of his body. He was actually lying down flat with his face turned up and then clothes were added to create the effect that he was actually standing up with his arms tied on chains to the ceiling. Very cool effect but chilling. He couldn’t speak and I asked him where the exit was, he kept pointing in many directions and looked like he was about to burst out laughing. In the end he gave up and you could see he wanted to say “you stupid idiots. go to your left!” but we got it. Haha.

That was the end of it. We then went off to the campfire and Pravesh mentioned saying this was certainly the best haunted farm he’d been to for Halloween and also the cheapest. The last one he visited in Seattle sucked he claimed. I couldn’t agree more with him. So we sat around the fire place exchanging ghost stories. Well only I did but it was a nice fire going there and someone threw in more logs. Aaah. Too bad we didn’t have marshmellows with us at that moment. All the good ol’days of campfires. A highly entertaining haunted farm I must say but next year, we need to go to “Trail of Terrors” which is south of the cities by Shakopee. I hear it’s better but the admission tickets are probably like 5-10 bucks more as well. 😦 If you’re looking for a cheap Halloween haunted house visit but one that also offers you loads of scares and fun, go visit Molitor’s Haunted Acres in Sauk Rapids / Sartell.





Windows Search = Death Toll for XP

26 10 2007

Many of us have the Microsoft Windows XP updates set to “Automatic” which also happens to be the default setting meaning if you haven’t bothered with it, your computer gets updated by Microsoft, when they feel like it. And as we all know from some of my previous posts that I am not the greatest fan of MS’s attempt to slow down your computer with the myriad updates that Mr Gates’ company would like you to stuff down on our aging computers.

The last update contained Windows Search and Index applications. What this is, is it’s basically like Google Desktop Search. It resides in the background of your computer’s memory and hogs it down. The upside to that is it allows you to look up anything you’ve typed or written. So in other words, a more powerful version of the lame Windows Search thing you click on after clicking the START button. Search and Index comes prepackaged with the slow-selling Windows Vista.

You can see how much RAM they use by hitting CTRL+ALT+DEL, then clicking on Task Manager, and then the Processes tab. searchindex.exe, searchfilterhost.exe, searchprotocolhost.exe, and mscorsvw.exe should be hiding among the processes listed. These are the suspects where mscorsvw does something a bit different and doesn’t have much to do with the Indexing portion.

There’s more than 1 way to turn it off. The method I chose was to go to…

Start > Run and then type in services.msc and hit enter.
– Go all the way down to Windows Search under the Name column after clicking on the title to arrange it in an alphabetical order.
– Double-click Windows Search and click on the “automatic” drop down tool bar and set it to “disabled”.
– Then hit Apply and watch your computer pick up in speed.
– Then delete it from the Startup. Click on Start > All Programs > Startup and then right-click on Windows Search and select the delete option.
– Don’t forget to reboot your computer after disabling.

================================

Another way you can turn it off is by clicking on…

Start > Search > Change Preferences > With Indexing Service
– Make sure the [NO, Do Not Enable Indexing Service] option is selected.

or,

Change Indexing Service Settings
– [Indexing Services] Window
– Click on Action > Stop

Sorry to announce this but attempting to disable the Search/Index via Windows Search isn’t very effective. Just try my steps from the “services” menu and REMEMBER to delete the Windows Search icon from the Start-Up menu before you reboot your system.

So what do I think of all this? This is madness. This is Sparta. I feel like I’m in fuckin Sparta. Surrounded by Bill Gates and his evil henchman Steve Balmer’s asswipes looking for an easy kill. They want to bog down our Windows XP operating systems with all their unnecessary system files/processes so that in the end, we give up on XP and move over to Vista.

Wait. Not so easy you evil Redmond clowns. Some of us are actually going to make the switch over to Mac OS X Leopard (10.5) and Ubuntu 7.10 (Gutsy Gibbon) so I wish you all luck. Microsoft continues to alienate their true fans by trying to Mackify their UI (user interface) but comes out with a shitty product and making themselves look bad. All those updates this year have been extremely aggressive. I can’t see why Steve Ballmer’s Microsoft hate their users so much. I’ve been a Windows fan for a long time but times are changing. Especially this year.

EDIT: John Wood has a quick detailed guide to disabling mscorsvw.exe on your computer.





Mike’s Hard (and) Sucks! :O

25 10 2007

Darjeeling is considered as one of the best producers of quality tea. The same can’t be said about Mike’s Hard Lemonade Co, the Canadian maker of the Mike’s Hard series of hard filtered down liquor. You like Long Island Teas? Don’t even consider Mike’s Hard “long island” Tea. When the girlfriend saw “Ice Tea” with “Mike’s Hard” in the same bottle at a local liquor store, she immediately reached out for it. Unfortunately, Mike’s Hard Tea is more of a Darjeeling “limited” than anything else.

To be honest, it tasted like cough syrup and left everybody gagging which means, we’re not gonna git it again. Was trying to find pictures of “Mike’s Hard Tea” all over Google and Yahoo but the only things I could find were pics of regular Mike’s Lemonade and a whole lotta Mike’s with hard-ons. WTF man. Too many guys in various homo-erotic poses and a whole more of “tea-bagging” (look that up if you don’t know what it is but know that it’s NSFW aka Not-Safe-For-Work). Grossed the hell outta me. First Mike’s Hard Tea and now Mike’s Hard Tea-Baggin.

And to end it all, a sick ad (Youtube) by the guys who brought you Mike’s Hard Tea topped by a nicely done homage to the Evil Dead’s “Army of Darkness” movie.





Adobe CS3 don’t fly with older Mackies

25 10 2007

The title sounds like a sick old man perv joke but apparently, word around the street is that Adobe’s newest 4GB dinosaur doesn’t like anything older than Mac OS 10.4 or OS X Tiger for those confused.

It all started with trying to install Adobe Creative Suite 3 on a newer Mac OS 10.4.8 and the installation went through flawlessly. Cool. Then went over to install it on a slightly older Mac OS 10.3.9 G5 and whadya know? The installation setup icon vanishes into thin air after 2-3 seconds of double-clicking it. This stupid tug-o-war went on for the next few minutes until I realized it just wasn’t going to work out. Cleared off the cache and rebooted the Mac G5 thinking maybe it might go through this time. Nope. Finally one obscure forums had a user post saying CS3 was not compatible with OS 10.3.x aka Panther. Motherf*cker! Wish I’d known that in advance instead of wasting 60 minutes of my time.

So just so you know, Adobe Creative Suite 3 is NOT compatible with OS 10.3 or anything that is NOT Tiger. I’m assuming Leopard stands to defy that statute. Didn’t think 10.3 and 10.4 were that different to warrant Adobe to take that stance.





FREE Apple Leopard t-shirts on Oct 26!!!

25 10 2007

Been procrastinating writing the 2nd part to the 2-part reviews for Nokia’s “cool” toys but here’s a short one and a plug for Apple.

Apparently, it’s been reported that if you’re one of the first 500 people to visit ANY Apple store in the nation tomorrow between 6-10PM (FRIDAY the 26th), you automatically win a free Leopard t-shirt. Personally speaking, that 10PM end time is a bit of a stretch because every time I walk into an Apple store, there’s already 500 Facebookers and MySpacers tapping away on the free internet and Macs lying round.

This nicely ties in with the impending new Mac OS X Leopard (10.5) release date set for tomorrow and Mr Jobs wants to make sure you KNOW what that Leopard is. So free up your schedules. Set off to an Apple store and go fulfill your destiny cuz Leopard wants YOU!