Some strange/funny news from around

29 10 2007

Oct 14: Anti-Gay rights Republican Idaho Senator, Larry “I am not gay” Craig, fresh out of his gay-sex scandal in the Minneapolis Airport (MSP) mens restroom got honored in Idaho. I’m assuming they’re now planning on making changes to the name of the state by adding a “mo” at the end of “Idaho” as in which case would resonate well with the Republican-stronghold’s leading political hypocrite. How can you be tell the world that you were looking for gay sex in court in front of the world and then a week later tell them all that you were never gay?

Oct 17: Some fat nerd/geek behind a computer screams out Ron Paul and a million nerds scream out the same name. Then they go around telling other fat easily gullible fools that Ron Paul is the answer to our nations problems as though we need another 4 years under Republican rule. These clowns must’ve read this story and believed every word of it. ROFL!

Oct 19: The “best broadband service” Comcast, one of the tier 1 Internet Service Providers here blocked test attempts made by the Associated Press to download the Bible through the popular p2p (peer to peer) file sharing technology, BitTorrent. First they denied any hand in the slowdown of torrent file sharing over the internet. Then a week later, they admitted to it. Later when talks about Comcast getting sued were on the air, Comcast denied blocking p2p torrent exchanging. Later, Congressman Rick Boucher slaps Comcasts wrists with a warning. Insiders reveal that Comcast uses Sandvine to do their dirty work. Comcast denies. Proof of Sandvine’s involvement in the issue comes out on their own website. Comcast still in denial to the public. Comcast’s profits drop 54%. I say karma is doing a wonderful job here.

Oct 23: Report uncovers that the 67 year old meat company, Topps Meat Co, reduced meat inspection levels and mixed foreign and domestic meat to meet (no pun intended) an unexpectedly high demand from Sam’s Club or Wal-Mart customers not too long before customers got sick eating that shit. The discovery of the E.Coli virus which is found in matters pertaining to the fecal kind, left the company with massive lawsuits and an instant collapse amidst a 22 million pound frozen beef patty recall. It is believed that contaminated meat is still being sold at Wal-Marts and Sam’s Clubs around the nation. I knew food at Sam’s Club and Wal-Marts were shit but didn’t quite think of it in literal terms. I guess that makes a lot of people shit-eaters. *pukes*

Oct 23: Gap finds out child-labor was used in India to make their products. I mean how long does it take to figure that out? The trim quality of Gap has suffered immeasurably in recent years. You can see poorly cut clothes and shitty stitchings on almost any Gap product. Clearly, this is the work of children, not machines or professionals. For the price of your clothes, you have to hire either one of the last 2 suggestions.

Oct 24: Arsonists suspected in the Southern California fires. Who the fck are these people and why the hell are they burning up houses and property? As if insurance rates and pollution levels weren’t quite high enough out in Cali, some clowns decided to take on the task of increasing our renter’s insurance (property insurance) and global warming. We’re assuming these people whoever they may be are not planning on living in Cali for long due to the possibility that either the ocean might reclaim the land, pollution and smog kills the living, or Gah-buh-nuh Arnie pumps more iron than green into the economy.

Oct 28: Hollywood revenues declined for the 6th straight week. Not surprising with a declining middle-income class, faltering dollar strength, and the rich preferring to pour their money into the volatile stock market as the right-wing party wants us to believe. In reality, rich people prefer investing in stocks that can return a profit as in Asian stocks out in Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Tokyo. Time to get all the rich people to go out and watch all the movies you pour out, Hollywood!

Oct 28: Philip Morris, the giant cigarette/tobacco company off loaded $350 million and opened a new research center for “products to reduce the risk of tobacco use.” WTF did I just hear? That’s like saying Hollywood will invest millions of dollars to produce movies that make people not want to watch it on their television sets. Oh wait. That’s already in the process. So is Philip Morris actually speaking the truth? “Thank You for Smoking” is a good movie about these bastards although I did want to strangle the smart-ass kid of the main character.


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