Cloverfield – the movie review

14 01 2008

On January 14th, SOMETHING HAS ARRIVED – the movie details revealed.

Only just over 3 days left before this JJ Abrams monster movie is out in theaters but doesn’t hurt to write about it. Alright this isn’t exactly the review but an “alleged review” by a screener so this MAY or MAY NOT be a SPOILER. Continue reading ONLY if you do not care. One thing that needs to be cleared up is that the fictitious Japanese soda Slusho ( DOES have a role in the movie but not quite as much. Also, this movie is NOT about the Chtulu  or Cthulu or Godzilla or some other existing monster as I’d previously blogged about.


So here’s what happens in the movie. This Japanese company Tagruato (maker of Slusho) is involved in deep sea mining and exploration and at the same time trying to promote a new drink in the US. The main character “Rob” as seen in the trailers gets tricked into thinking his friends hooked him up with a surprise going-away party but in reality, it was a Slusho presentation for Rob who’s chosen as one of the top persons to market the drink. Mind you that this whole thing is going on in New York City. Of course. Where else would all this kinda destruction take place. And most important, the camera dude is Hud, buddy of Rob.

Something that might not be shown in the movie are Slusho underwater vehicles awakening the Cloverfield sea monster possibly using explosives etc causing the creature to surface. I figured this out from the movie screener review where a news reporter asks for a comment from our very own Rob for the deep-sea explorations by Tagruato which maybe hazardous. According to the director, JJ Abrams, in this excerpt from an interview, “He’s a baby. He’s brand-new. He’s confused, disoriented and irritable. And he’s been down there in the water for thousands and thousands of years.” That’s what comes out of the waters.

Now the whole movie is pretty much with Rob trying to find his girl Beth. But before all that, when the monster first strikes the area, some chick going by the name of Jamie, self-proclaimed hottie, who turns into the most annoying character since Jar Jar Binks of Star Wars Episode I, gets killed when the giant head of the Statue of Liberty crashes down on her cab. There’s a lot of 9-11 like images in the footage taken from a portable camcorder.

Description of the creature – Many internet sources have varying descriptions but most of them go with the “scaly humanoid” face and “red eyes” while some report a whale-like head as shown in the above fan-art. The front limbs are like inverted crab arms/legs. The size of this monster is ginormous and when it brushes past the buildings, thousands of parasitic creatures fall out.

Back to the movie. So Beth is apparently trapped under the rubble of a collapsed structure. Cops are running helter skelter and when one of them radios in to help out a victim, a car falls smack squarley on him. Meanwhile, this female cast Marlena was one of the few who actually drank a Slusho right during the party in the beginning. She gets visibly sicker as the movie progresses and then physically explodes. Out of her body comes out some nasty looking creature that goes out on a human feeding frenzy. She gets shot multiple times.

While Rob and his buddy Hud are in the subway talking, Hud says “Rob, I’ve seen it… Rob, it’s a loss.” contrary to what we thought we heard in the trailers where it sounded more like “it’s alive.” Then a loud crash and the monster is dead. WOW. A close-up of the face reveals our description.

Then people from the party who drank the Slusho drink are now bleeding from their eyes and their bodies are expanding. Some blow up with blood-thirsty creatures jumping out. So Rob outlives Hud and video records the whole incident. Cops in helicopters come swirling down rescuing as many survivors and as they’re lifting off, a loud explosion goes off. The creature is back up and moving and attacks the choppers. “It looks possessed, angry, *beep* crazy. Its teeth look like machetes and its eyes are now a darker red than before.” Then the bridge gets destroyed and Beth and Rob run into Central Park and say their I love yous as the camera battery starts to beep due to low battery. The movie ending in the review is terrible. Supposedly, the last words of Rob while filming himself are, “My name is Robert Hawkings…” and then the monster’s crashing footsteps get closer and with Beth screaming in the background and all of a sudden, the battery is dead. The End.

Fak that shit. Well I only hope that was all just crap he posted and not the real thing. So far, it looks too close to what might be. JJ Abrams, tell me this ain’t true. Tell me please!




5 responses

14 01 2008

[…] Read the rest of this great post here […]

16 01 2008
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Cloverfield is my favorite movie. Thanks for Review.

16 01 2008

What? Did you see it already or you being a Sarcastic Sid?

11 11 2008

Did I forget to mention that this movie was a total kook? I was so dizzy 2 minutes into it, I’m not even sure how I lasted the entire 2 hours. Dunked myself into a pool for a few hours to fix me head.

10 01 2010
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Hey very nice blog!!….I’m an instant fan, I have bookmarked you and I’ll be checking back on a regular….See ya

I’m Out! 🙂

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