Tips on how to eat Fast Food!

16 01 2008

People say there is only one way to eat fast food and that is to eat it. For the money, it’s usually the best deal unless you live near China Town and can scavenge off $5 buffet meals. Alright, I’m here to tell you that there actually is a way to eat fast food and I’m only sharing this portion of my age old wisdom due to a stagnation of wages, increase of inflation from 3.4% to 4.3%, energy costs, grocery food prices, and unemployment.

This tip is only for those who wish to:
1. Buy less and fill themselves faster.
2. Save money on fast food cuz you buy less. (duh!)
3. Live healthier because you eat less but enough to reach your daily calorie quota.

Analyze the picture below and spot the mistake this beef-cake is making.

Well here’s what he’s doing wrong:

Starting off his meal with a burger!




The rules of eating fast food are:
1. Light sip of soda to wet the appetite.
2. Fries first because fries go bad quickly and also because it helps in expanding your stomach which in turn prepares your body for the large mass of beef/cheese/fat that is to follow.
3. Burgers follow only after you’re done with your fries.

Following the above rules will usually result in you “feeling” full rather than eating burgers first and then fries. Eating is a psychological experience. It is also a physical experience. All the energy expended in eating fries will make you tired and your stomach happy.

But before we go anywhere, let’s start-off with when you walk in to a fast food restaurant and your hungry stomach is telling you to get the largest. Remember Godzilla. Big doesn’t always mean you live the longest. The puny humans outlived that crap of radioactive waste.

So, something to know before placing an order:
Never order a meal! The drinks that come with the meal will usually add $1+ on your meal and they fill you up very quickly. In essence, they’re not worth the money you spend on ’em. Instead ask for water. It’s free and does the same as soda only healthier. You can take a quick sip of it and continue with #2 and 3 from my rules list.

Eating cheap at Burger King and McDonald’s?
Order the dollar menu. We all know about the dollar menu so why aren’t we using them?
1. Burger King has the Jr Whopper and Spicy Chicken Sandwiches (bigger than the Whopper Jr) for $1 which they usually do not advertise. Or try swapping the burgers with McDonald’s McChicken or the Cheeseburger (doesn’t really fill up anybody).
2. Get 2 of them with fries and a cup of water and it should be all within $4 after taxes.

Now that you’re loaded with this piece of garbage information, hope you take heed to the GIGO formula of Garbage In Garbage Out. Fast Foods are garbage but then again, for the economically and culinarily challenged, the above hints will help you ease your troubled diet consisting of ramen noodles and peanut butter sandwiches along with the occasional Totinos (or other cheap $1) pizzas.

Click your heels together and join in the cacophony of JT’s “… I’m loving it!” chorus.


College Fodder: Jajangmyun noodles

30 08 2007

You might not find this brand of ramen noodles at most grocery stores but if you know of any East Asian stores, you might very well be in luck. To begin with, my girlfriend (who’s Korean) had to correct me. I was about to call it a ramen but I guess it’s jus a type of special Korean noodles called Jajangmyun or Jajangmeun for roughly 89c per package. Not quite sure of the exact pronunciation in English but it’s something like Jajangmin or what I wrote in the previous sentence.

A quick history on Jajangmyun. It was originally a Chinese noodle dish which got popular in Korea with the rising Chinese immigration to the Korean peninsula. I guess Jajangmeun in direct translation means “black noodles” and it sure lives up to it’s reputation.As seen below, it won’t necessarily say “Jajangmeun” but they come in different packages. The one featured below (Cha Cha-roni or Ja Ja-roni) is the stuff I really like but I need 2 to fill me.

So first you dump the noodles in a pot. Then pour out the chunky dried vegetables on it. Do NOT pour out the dark stuff yet.

Fill the pot with water and set the heat to about 70% heat. Cover it up!

After around 15 mins of cooking at 70% heat, turn off the heating. Use the lid to poke into the noodles to make sure it’s soft and edible.

Drain out all the water. Try to get all of it out using the lid to keep the contents in and at the same time, letting out the water.

Pour the black stuff from the sealed package on the noodles. Stir it with chopsticks until you get most or all of the ramen covered in that black stuff.

A reminder, make sure to use the pot where you have the ramen Jajangmyun in. Stir it well again and you may begin eating!

This thing tastes a million times better than it looks. The dark stuff is soysauce and a blend of some other Chinese ingredients. It’s a big hit there in Korea and one of my all time favs.

EDIT (01/27/08): IF YOU DO NOT REMOVE ALL THE WATER, your jajangmyun will taste nasty. I’ve noticed a lot of people make that mistake so PLEASE, when you’re making jajangmyun, try to follow my instructions down to the detail. It’s  not like making standard ramen where you boil it and voila! And DO NOT say the instant jajangmyun tastes bad unless you’ve cooked it right and removed all the water after cooking. 

Mediterranean Cafe in St Cloud Minnesota

14 08 2007

This past weekend, we were driving around down-town St Cloud (which is a slightly run-down version of Fargo’s down-town section) and passed by this small restaurant called “Mediterranean Cafe”. Both of us felt like gyros (pronounced “heroes” and sometimes misspelled as “hyros”) so we drove around the block and back to that place to eat.

Inside, only 2 Somalis were eating and they looked like they were related to the people running the restaurant. There was a nice 36″ widescreen HDTV hooked up to digital cable and Al Jazeera News playing. Nobody at the counter. One of the persons eating yells out “Abdullah” and a person comes scurrying out. Thick Somali accent speaking to us as we were handed the menus. Kaci picked the Beef w/Naan (Indian bread) and I got the Chicken w/Rice combo. Strange. It said “Mediterranean” on the outside but everything on the menu was Indian.

Well within 5-10 mins of waiting, hot food was served. Wow. Did food ever taste that good for 7 bucks a plate. It was basically Indian food with some Mid-Eastern/Mediterranean flavor and came out great. The rice was simply exquisite. The cury flavored meat, heavenly. Great service.

After we were done eating, they refused the tip. WOW. Even better. Won’t mind stopping by again if I’m in downtown Saint Cloud ever again. Also, we got a good dose of Al Jazeera news. It was very weird hearing news from another perspective but informative as well. Just goes on to show that watching Fox News and CNN gets us only half the story. To hear the whole deal, it doesn’t hurt to hear the other side’s story. Well it hurts your wallet cuz you’d need to drop extra $$$ to get digital cable if you don’t have one.

My overall verdict. Mediterranean Cafe gets the Ninja’s all-time 5-star recommendation! The environment may not feel great but the food definitely is. Not to forget news from another view. Not the ideal place for a first time date but great for any other times.

EDIT: 09/15/07 Went back and same great service!

EDIT: 05/05/08 Unfortunately, the place has closed out and I was unable to find another “Mediterranean Cafe” in St Cloud, Minnesota.